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Intermingling with the opposite gender

Question:

Assalamualaikum,

I have been trying to implement Islam fully into my life and because of this I have stopped conversing with non mahram women even those who are related to me like cousins, I don’t speak to them, neither do I look at them, I have stopped watching TV for this reason as well as the fact that it is full of filth. My mother has said that, I have to talk to her friends when they come over to our house and I have to greet them with salam however I have told her I don’t wish to do this, as some of her friends who are in their forties/ fifties however wear lots of perfume, make up and tight jeans and I refuse to talk to them but my mother says this is not allowed as they are her friends and is rude and that they are like my mother my mother also says I have to talk to my elderly female neighbour who doesnt wear hijab and is a christian, is this allowed islamically?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We are pleased to hear your sensitivity towards Deen. May Allah Ta’ala grant you steadfastness in His obedience. You are correct in your understanding that it is impermissible to intermingle and communicate with the opposite gender even though they may be your mother’s friends. We advise you to be firm in this matter. Explain to your mother kindly that you are highly sensitive in this regards and that the Deen of Allah Ta’ala must be given precedence over everything else.

You state that your Christian neighbor is an elderly woman. If she is so elderly that there is no possibility of being attracted towards her, then it is permissible for you to speak to her even though she may not be covering her hair.[1]

We advise you to read the Ahadith of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam in your home on a daily basis. This will develop a fervor towards Deen in the members of the household. We recommend Fadhaail al-Amaal by Mol. Zakariyya Kandhalvi Rahimahullah and Muntakhab Ahadith by Mol. Yusuf Kandhalvi Rahimahullah.

[1]  وَلَا يُكَلِّمُ الْأَجْنَبِيَّةَ إلَّا عَجُوزًا عَطَسَتْ أَوْ سَلَّمَتْ فَيُشَمِّتُهَا ويَرُدُّ السَّلَامَ عَلَيْهَا وَإِلَّا لَا انْتَهَى (الدر المختار مع رد المحتار، ج 6، ص 369، سعيد)

معارف القران، ج 6، ص 447-448، إدارة المعارف

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

(Mufti) Abdul Azeem bin Abdur Rahman

 

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